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The
Good, the Bad and the Ugly
by:- Judy
After making a major
move with my husband Bill and son Jason, then aged 7, I promptly called the
local Dept. of Social Services to advise them of our interest in getting a
foster care license. It wasn't a lengthy process as we had been licensed in
the previous state we lived in, so within a matter of weeks the phone rang.
It would be a challenge. Was I up to it? My heart jumped with joy at
learning a home was needed for two little sisters, a two-year-old I'll call
Angela and a four-month old I'll call Jessica. I was advised the baby was a
"failure to thrive" infant, having gotten very little attention in her home.
Within hours my two little girls were at the front door. Angela was a
bright-eyed tot with curly blond hair and the face of a cherub. Jessica was
adorable with soft, dark hair adorning her tiny head. I knew nothing of the
circumstances surrounding their removal from their home, other than that
they were both neglected.
It was obvious right from the start that Jessica was severely lacking in
stimulation. Cute as a button, in her little bassinette, but no more
responsive than a baby doll dressed in a pink sleeper. After settling Angela
down at the table with some juice and crackers, I held Jessica tightly to my
chest, and stroked her head while talking to her softly. She offered no
resistence and quietly allowed me to just rock and cuddle her.
It was never easy being a foster parent, and this time was no different. I
was happy to see Angela talkative and wanting to play. She was every bit a
normal child in that respect. The stresses she likely had endured at home
however, were something I would never know, but knew existed. From the very
first night until she was later placed in another foster home, sleeping was
difficult for her. Several times a night she would cry, needing attention
more than anything else. It made us wonder if she had been left alone, thus
making her insecure.
Jessica, on the other hand, aside from needing a bottle during the night,
quickly ate and went back to sleep. It was as if she didn't expect any
attention and no longer cared if she got any. It broke my heart to see her
so "distant", and I began devoting extra time to interact with her.
Literally within weeks, I saw this infant begin to blossom! It was the most
beautiful thing to behold! She began looking at me as I spoke to her, and
rewarded me with a growing number of smiles as time went by.
Within a few months of their arrival, Angela and Jessica were very much at
home in our family. Serious thoughts about adopting them were discussed
between my husband and I. It was something we wanted to do. Angela couldn't
have been happier with us, and little Jessica, at seven months, was now a
typical playful baby, sitting up, crawling and laughing as we chased after
her.
It was not long after this that I joined my son out in the driveway one
summer evening, for a Pogo Stick competition. I hadn't been on one of those
for years but decided it would be good exercise. Just as I reached and
completed my 100th jump, however, I lost my balance and fell backwards onto
the concrete, severely injuring my lower back and tailbone.
Thankfully I didn't need to be hospitalized but after x-rays and strong pain
medication was issued, I was ordered on strict bed rest for the next three
to four weeks. The slightest movement and I would be in the grips of the
worst pain I've ever known, far worse than childbirth!
What a dilemma! My husband called the caseworker to explain what happened,
knowing the girls would need to be cared for elsewhere until I could heal. I
was in tears, knowing I couldn't care for them but not wanting to be
separated from them. My mother flew 1500 miles down from where she lived to
care for me and my son while Bill was off at work during the daytime.
Two weeks to the day of my injury, we received a phone call from the
caseworker, saying things were working out just fine at the new foster home
and as both girls were adjusting and bonding well....she had decided it
would be best for them to remain there.
I felt like my world had crashed. I had become so attached to these little
ones I could scarcely believe I was losing them. Having been a social worker
when I was first out of college, I was very upset with her decision, but I
had no recourse. They were not my children!
I could only be thankful that I was privileged to care for these little
girls and help them feel secure. And I prayed they indeed were feeling loved
and wanted in this home where they were to remain.
....................................
Twenty years later, I still think about the two "daughters" I had for a
brief passage of time, and I still miss them. I can only be thankful they
were mine to love and care for when they were in need. Within a year, other
foster children came our way and at one point, along with my son, then 9, we
had three brothers, ages 5, 7, and 8 along with two teenage girls, both aged
15. So our house was full and never boring. But in my heart, will always be
a hole which could only have been filled by my little Jessica and her sister
Angela.
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Judy
©
Copyright 2006 Caring Hearts/Building Hope (UN: judbie46 at Writing.Com).
All rights reserved.
Caring Hearts/Building
Hope has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive
rights to display this work.
Please help
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