|
Information Base of Foster Carers sharing their unique experiences of Foster Caring Site dedicated to Master E.C.C. |
||||||||||||||||
|
 
|
Please help
build this information base, share your Fostering experiences.
Contribution by ST and SD - Wales Very recently, my partner and I have to come to the conclusion that the teenager that we so wanted to care for long term, heal and provide a safe loving home - needs to move on. He came to us about a year ago. He had previously had numerous placements and a personal history that has damaged him so severely it has been beyond our skills to get close to him, for him to let us in and help him. It's as if he has built an impenetrable wall around himself - and the world is his enemy. We are completely exhausted with trying to manage his challenging and defiant behaviour, he seems to show no remorse or guilt for wrong or hurtful actions. We are not blaming him -given the rejection and neglect he has experienced we can understand his anger and mistrust - its just that we can not cope anymore. We feel like such failures but can honestly say we have tried everything we know to gain the trust and respect of this young man. You would not believe the guilt we are feeling right now. We feel that if we had managed to care for this young man a few years earlier we would have had some chance at creating some lasting change. It has not helped him settle with us because his mother has been trying to undermine the placement and telling him that she wants and will get him back - like she did with his older sister. His heart and mind is with his mother and we are battling against the tide. It has come to the point that he will virtually ignore any request we make of him to do anything that he does not want to do - and then says "what can you do about it?" He has been in the system so long that he knows that we are powerless to really do anything that could get through to him. He has taken the control and the power and our lives would become a living hell if we allow it to get any worse.
We are
not new carers, and have very successfully cared for other foster children
long term. We believe this particular placement was almost set up to fail,
or it was a last attempt to try and give this young man a chance of a good
family life and a positive future. We desperately worry for this young mans
long term mental health and his inability to be a happy adult. He is a true
victim of circumstances - and we will probably go to our graves thinking
that we could and should have done more. Please do not be quick to judge us. © Redking. All rights reserved worldwide. http://www.fostercare.redking.co.uk Reprinting or republishing of this article is strictly prohibited without our written consent.
Please help
build this information base, share your Fostering experiences.
|
|||||||||||||||
|
home © 2002-2006 Redking - All rights reserved For problems or questions regarding this web contact [Email]. Trademarks, service marks, logos, and/or domain names (including, without limitation, the individual names of movies or other entertainment shows and providers) are the property of their respective owners, who have no association with or make any endorsement of the products or services provided by Redking.co.uk |
||||||||||||||||
